Tears Are The New Orange

BONER WASHINGTON - Speaker of The House, and tanning salon enthusiast, John BONER, resigned today.  Though he has vehemently denied it, the fact that this coincided with the visit of Pope Francis speaks loudly to the notion that he has actually grown a conscience and does not want to put the country through ANOTHER shutdown by the Banana Republicans.  For what it's worth, the fact that he will no longer do our nation any harm is a welcome development.